A guest post by Heidi Dennis
Have you ever noticed how, when you are sitting on the floor and a child comes to sit on your lap, they just plop down booty-first? They don’t even look behind them, they don’t ease into it- they just back it up and drop it like it’s hot right into your lap.
The other day when my son did just that to me, it struck me how trusting that is. He had NO DOUBT in his little 5-year-old mind that I would catch him. Child-like faith is a precious thing. The thought made me smile and swelled up in my chest. Then, something else entered my mind and quickly replaced the warm fuzzies with a sense of fear and sadness. He has this child-like faith because he hasn’t been hurt. If he plopped down onto my lap and I wasn’t there to catch him or he hurt himself somehow, his faith in me would falter.
Are you just like me and want to scoop up all of the littles in the world and bubble-wrap them with a layer of protection? Because you know just as well as I do that pain WILL come. They will free-fall and then face-plant. They will try and fail. They will give their heart and have it broken. They will trust and be betrayed. We’ve all gone through it.
My question to you is, in your own life, how have these hurts effected your ability to love? And, what’s more, how has it effected your ability to trust God? You see, when we are hurt by someone, we are less likely to trust someone else- even if they have given us no reason not to trust them. And on an even deeper level, when another human being hurts us, we are less likely to trust God- even if He hasn’t given us a reason not to trust Him.
This is a difficult truth, I know. But if you look back over the course of your life, who was REALLY the one who hurt you? Was it God or was it someone rebelling against God and not living up to the standard that God called him or her to? The bottom line is, it’s hard to trust after you’ve been hurt. Understandably so. But, if we use that hurt as an excuse to throw up walls, we will miss out on a chance to love again (and we can kind of act CA-RAZY in the process- you know we can. Our walls aren’t the most flattering view of ourselves- it’s like that bad selfie angle that gives you a double chin. Ya feel me?).
Letting down your walls might be with romantic love or it might be building up that child-like faith again with God (or both). No matter what you are holding yourself back from, take little steps towards lowering your walls. I’m not asking you to plop right down. That would be mean. But one inch at a time, take small steps towards trust. Each time it goes well, send a little message to those walls of yours that maybe…just maybe…it’s safe to get back to that booty- first sit.